Manuel the Heartbreaker

Meet Manuel the Heartbreaker. This little dude is one of the preschoolers at Colegio Cristiano la Esperanza, the school in La Chureca (Managua's city dump hundreds of people call home). In class and around his friends, he'll greet you with a smile and a hug. He is just as wild as the rest of the boys, if not more. He bounces off walls and if he catches you sitting on the floor, he'll take advantage of the opportunity and jump all over you. Oh, and he's a total cutie and knows it.

But catch him alone or away from his friends and you'll meet a whole other boy.

This is one of the most recent drawings I've done since I got back from Nica a few weeks ago. It's of Manuel with La Chureca in the background. A lot of people have been commenting on the sadness in his eyes. No doubt, you can make out the connection between his sadness and La Chureca- his dirty and dangerous home. I'm glad that people can see and understand that. That's one of the reasons why I do sad pieces like this (not to make you sad, but for you to learn about these kid's and the lives they live each and every day). But there is actually a whole other story to this drawing.

Each and every time we saw Manuel outside of class or away from his friends, he wanted nothing to do with us (Now come on! I'm not just talking about me... I can handle it when a kid doesn't like me... but he didn't want to go around any of us). He avoided us as much as possible. If you tried to hug him, he would run away. If you tried to talk to him, he would clam up and bury his face in his arms.  If you tried to make him laugh, he would clench his fists. When we gave him a card, he didn't even want to touch it. One time, he agreed to play a little soccer, but spent the entire time trying to hit me and another boy with the ball... with a whole lot of uncalled for anger.

Saying our final goodbyes to the kids in La Chureca was hard enough, but saying goodbye to Manuel broke my heart. Once again, he wanted nothing to do with us. There was a man with him, possibly his dad or older brother, and even he was shaking his head at Manuel, trying to get him to hug me goodbye. Even he knew that we may not ever see each other again. So from a distance, I told him that I love him and that I will miss him very much.

So in a way, the sadness in Manuel's eyes sort of reflect my own sadness. Here is a kid not wanting to accept someone's love, which reminds me of how so many of us reject Christ's love. For many, it is total defiance- even a hatred. His love is totally ours for the taking, yet so many refuse to accept it. Seeing that in one little kid was sad, but I can't even imagine what the Lord feels. Ouch.

Maybe something in adults makes him scared. Maybe it was his way of getting attention. Or maybe we just caught him on a bad day... or a few?And although it makes me sad, I can't help but remember the times he did smile and laugh, which was such a breath of fresh air. I hope he never loses that smile completely.