The "Narrow Gate"

So I didn't get a chance to explain what I'll be doing for my internship in Nica! I need to do that before I go onto what's already happened this week.

I have Internet access, but I'll only have it when I'm in certain spots on the property. So please be patient with me as I try to keep this updated! I also won't have much time, so I apologize for keeping everything super short and choppy!

When I got back from my trip to Nica in January, I was contacted by Ayla Fox, who had previously lived there for a few months. She was an intern at Casa Havilah, another home for at-risk girls that have been through all kinds of tragedies. She asked me if I had any paintings available, but I thought it would be fun to do a custom one for her- I didn't realize that the Lord was totally opening a HUGE door for me.

She told me a bit about one of the little girls she connected with the most: "Joseling means the world to me. From day one we were inseperable and it has been extremely difficult for me to be apart from her. We have been able to Skype a couple of times and it breaks my heart to see her growing taller and bigger, but she is still my "mani" which means peanut. God used my relationship with Joseling to reflect my relationship with Him and the tendancies I have towards honoring and trusting Him with my well being."

She sent me her favorite photo of Joseling, and wanted me to incorporate La Chureca in it, the city dump hundreds of people call home. "I had gone on a week long missions trip a year and a half before I started my intership at Casa Havilah and was taken on a tour of La Chureca, the city's dump where hundreds of families live and work, finding anything of value among the garbage that is brought it. The man guiding the tour had the whole bus be silent as we entered and just listen to God. Before Christ our lives looked like a dump, sin is garbage, and we have a lot of it, but God picks us out of that former life and makes us white as snow, spotless like His Son. I wanted to have La Chureca in the background with "my daughter" in the foreground because she came from ugliness, and is growing into a beautiful daughter of the King. Genesis 2:11 is where Casa Havilah derives it's name. Talking about the regions in the garden Havilah is an area of land where the river of Phison runs, and below the surface there is gold. A speaker once told me the Hebrew meaning of Havilah is suffering, and its actually quite fitting. The water from the river (Holy Spirit) cuts through Havilah (suffering) and exposes the gold that lies beneath."

While talking with Ayla and getting to know her, she told me about the internship she was apart of, and told me I should "befriend" someone who would have a lot of really good photos for me to look at. This person was currently still interning at Casa Havilah, and told me that she would be leaving soon, meaning there would be a need for another intern. We began to explore the possibility of me replacing her, but discovered that there are definitely some changes that need to be made for Casa Havilah, but she then put me in contact with the top dogs- the Buzbee family in charge of the whole shindig aka "Open Hearts", an organization with different ministries throughout Nicaragua.

While communicating with them, they introduced me to the "Narrow Gate" internship. This internship is a six week program of studying the Lord's word as well as spending a significant amount of time serving the communities here in Managua, Nicaragua. At first I thought it sounded psycho for me- quit my job only to come back home to no job a few weeks later???? But I couldn't let go of the idea, and soon realized the Lord was laying it on my heart- big time!

After a lot of prayer, I decided to be obedient to what I didn't totally understand at the time. I wasn't sure if the money would come through, but quickly realized how foolish we can be in doubting the Lord. My church stood beside me and have supported me this entire time. It's still hard for me to completely fathom how generous and supportive the members of my church have been. In so thankful the Lord sent me there.

Obviously the money came through and I'm sitting here in this beautiful country writing this (bugs and all!). I've been here for a week, and we've done so much already. I look back at when Ayla sent me a message, and I wouldn't have been able to tell you, that because the Lord introduced me to her, I would be in the very place I love, doing what I love.

The other day we took the girls from Casa Havilah and the boys from Casa Robles (home for boys) to see a movie and go shoe shopping. When I met Joseling, I showed her the painting I did for Ayla. No idea what she said... ... But she was excited!

I wondered which girl or boy I would connect with, the same way Ayla connected with Joseling. It took me back to when i first met the girls at Villa Esperanza, and connected so much with Miurel (totally saw her yesterday! Cute story, but ill have to write about it in another post). Soon enough, sweet Maria Elena wouldn't let go of my hand. We spent the whole time together. Chachi (his real name is Chris. He and Krista run the internship), showed me her previous house a few days ago- a tiny little shack in the dump just a few yards away from the landfill. I saw her tiny little brothers running around barefoot, breathing in the thick smoke that surrounds the dump. Here is another little girl who used to live in such an atrocious place, and who's family is still trapped there. How could you not have compassion for these people?

^^ Maria Elena ^^

She turned eleven last night, and I was able to attend her birthday party, which was a blast! I learned some mad dance skills! I danced a lot with Maria Elena, and even connected a lot with some of the other girls at Casa Havilah. Thank the Lord for nights like this where we can celebrate and create significant relationships! And to think I was worried I would never meet these girls!

Today we took the girls and boys on a trip to some property out in the country. Maria Elena fell asleep in my arms on the way there, and I spent the whole time praying for her specifically. Please pray for these girls and boys. They may be safe right now, and they may have three meals a day, but their scars are deep. They are carrying around so much baggage, more than we can imagine. Pray that they would understand how much the lord loves them.

Believe it or not, but we actually haven't had much time with either Casa Havilah or Casa Robles yet, as we have spent most of our time at Colegio de la Esperanza, the little school in La Chureca. I have soooooooo much to say about this last week, so keep a look out for that!!!

Paint, beach, birthdays, adios!

One week left and I'll be back in Nica!!

I have about three days of stuff in this post!

Thursday was a pretty chill day. We did different projects around Villa Esperanza with some of the girls. Its so amazing to me how willing these girls are to help. They always have a good attitude about things. Ana, Maria Celeste and I had a few laughs, but mostly because they think I'm crazy. Let's just say, I didn't really trust them with the bright orange paint...

 

Maria de Jesus asked me to sit next to her at lunch. It was the first time her and I ever really "spoke". I realized I was getting more and more comfortable with the older girls, which is one of the prayer requests that I had! My relationship with these girls keep getting stronger and stronger!! She taught me a few words in Spanish while we ate... but caused most of the table to giggle. Of course.

After lunch, Spencer and I started painting the playground. After a few minutes, Miurel (aka "mi amorcita", the little girl I sponsor) decided to come help us. I was SO excited! I think she helped us for hours! It probably took us hours because of her, but it was totally worth it to have her hanging out with us. This little girl is so amazing, and the Lord used her specifically to change my life. When people ask me what my favorite memories were from my first trip, I could think of a few, but most of them had to do with Miurel. I remember the first time I met her, on the same playground, and she was so incredibly sassy... seriously. I remember being discouraged because of her attitude, but the very next day she apologized and hugged me. Then the next day she was asking for me.  I remember dancing with her in the parking lot of The Tip Top. I remember her sitting in my lap in the van, trying to kick David. I remember her holding my hand as we walked out of the movie theater with her other hand on the dirty railing. I rinsed her hand with my water, and she got mad at me when she realized she had nothing to dry them on. I let her dry them on my jeans, and she smiled. I remember saying goodbye to her the morning I left, and she gave me the biggest smile I've ever seen. It was almost as if she knew she would see me again. And I did get to see her again. I thank the Lord for that.


She made me wear Spencer's hat!

And of course she thinks I'm crazy too!

 

 I honestly have no idea what inspired me to do that... but it was a bad idea...

That night we just played a few games with the girls and had a good laugh! Then the next morning we got ready to go to the beach!!!

I'll skip the icky details about being eaten by a million ants though. Just a lot of splashing around!

 

After getting cleaned up, we all got ready for the birthday party. The Villa celebrates that month's birthdays in one night. They pick up the girl's family members from the dump as well!

We spent the first part of it worshiping the Lord. I'm not going to lie, it was really hard to hold a lot of my emotions in. I think I creeped a bunch of people out because I couldn't stop grinning. Here we were, worshiping with the families from the dump! I'm so excited about everything the Lord is doing with these families.

Not only that, but Miurel's family was at the table next to mine. I kept waving and winking at her little brother, and he would just giggle and get super shy. I was waiting for the chance to meet her mama. Before they left, I asked Mario if he could introduce us really quickly. I seriously couldn't believe that I was hugging the mama of Miurel. It was hands down, one of the coolest moments of my life. And knowing me, I wasn't entirely sure what to say ;] She eventually asked when I was moving to Nica, and when I learn Spanish, she will learn English. I told her its a deal.

Kenia introduced me to her family. I was so excited I went around hugging all of them. I guess its just weird to meet their families. You've heard so much about them, but to see them in person just makes things more solid. Maybe more real? You see their faces, and you see tragedy, but you also see hope.

After they left, it was our last "Buenas noches" with the girls :[ Don't worry, I held it together!

 

The next morning we said our actual goodbyes. The last time I said goodbye to these girls, I was a mess. People saw me really cry for the first time. I did okay this time (until I got on the bus to the airport) :[

 

Adios Villa Esperanza! Until next time!

Someone the other day said that my "dreams are coming true" in regards to my internship I'm starting next week in Nica. They really are. I love these people, these kids, and this country. I'm so thankful for the experiences I've had there. Who knows what will come of this next part of the adventure. All I know, is that I am so grateful for the opportunity, and that I'm excited for whatever the Lord throws at me.

In my next post, I'll write about how I found out about the internship!

Sara, mi hermanita

I am totally going to take advantage of Memorial Day weekend aka "vacation" and try to finish up these posts! These last few months have been INTENSE, to say the least, and now I am preparing to leave for a summer internship to Nica in about two weeks! Yikes! So I'll have TONS to write about! I'm still trying to finish writing about my last trip!!

I left off on Wednesday, which was our "day off". I'll make this first part fast to get to the good stuff though! So don't skip the ending!

We went zip-lining, but I preferred to stay on the ground :P It didn't really do much for me the first time, and I thought the money could be spent elsewhere.

 

But let me tell you, I am SOOOOO glad I didn't do it, because two of the men that work there took Susie and I to see the monkeys! I'm still stoked that I saw my first wild monkey! They're my favorite animals!!! Sooooo cute!!

Then we went to have lunch by the lake!

Then we went to the market, yada yada yada, then we went to a cafe- faaaaaantastic!!!

But the end of the day was the best. This was the night I got to share (don't worry- Mario translated!) a little bit about my passion for art with the girls at Villa Esperanza, and why they have a lot to do with it (I'll TRY to summarize what I told them ;]). I told them about how my dad is an amazing artist, and I grew up watching him create amazing works of art. When I got older, my entire family went through some really, really tough stuff, which no doubt strained my relationship with my dad. For years, my dad and I were angry with each other. I started to draw and paint in high school, hoping that maybe that would help my dad and I connect again. When I went to Nica for the first time and met these girls, the Lord used them to teach me so much. He taught me about true love and forgiveness. When I went home, my attitude towards my dad was completely different. I began interacting with him differently. When I started The Nica Project, he became more and more interested in what I was doing, and started to help and give me advise. Eventually, we became more and more comfy with each other, which hasn't been the case since I was about eight! I was FINALLY able to see how much he had changed, and what an amazing father he had become... and he really is wonderful! So basically I was able to fully forgive him for everything we've been through, because of how the Lord used the kids in Nica.

After sharing, Perla (oldest girls at the Villa) prayed for my dad and I, and something happened between Sara and I. I don't remember exactly what she said, because I was just focusing on her smile. She smiled at me for the first time! From what I've been told, its very hard to get on Sara's good side. She has a very hard time trusting people. She gave me a note the next day, and told me a little about her own dad. It was heartbreaking. She told me that she will be praying for my dad and I, and asked that I be praying for her. Her and I got a lot closer over the next few days, and I learned a lot about her family- don't ask how that happened... I don't know much Spanish, you know?? But I'm so excited that my story was able to give her at least a tiny bit of hope. I'm glad she understood from my story that the Lord CAN change people! He CAN change lives! And I'm also glad that my story brought us together. Its crazy how the Lord brings people together at such random times, when you least expect it! Love this girl!

Anyways! We set up a bunch of stuff for them to make little sketchbooks (gracias Val!!!) and let them create what they wanted. It was SOOOOO fun to watch them! I even got to do a few rough pastels for some of the girls, which was really fun.

Overall, it was an amazing night, which I didn't expect. I'm so happy that I was able to share with these girls about how much the Lord has changed my life USING THEM!!!

Okay, now hopefully it won't be days before my next post!

Martes: Colegio Cristiano La Esperanza

Aye yai yai! It's been almost a million years since my last post! I've been busy painting though, so you can't be too mad at me.

Let's see, where was I? Tuesday!

Tuesday we went to Colegio Cristiano La Esperanza with Geyzell and Alondra (two girls from Villa Esperanza).

According to their website (it's impossible for me to remember statistics without reading ;]) Colegio La Esperanza has about 300 students (COMPLETELY free for them, including the cost of supplies), preschool through sixth grade. There are eleven teachers and five aids. They have several programs, including a feeding program (feeding ALL students, five days a week), a tutoring program, and of course... there is an ART PROGRAM (well... there was... from what I understand it is "momentarily not in operation" because they do not have a director :[ ).

They also have a scholarship program for those that graduated the sixth grade. Here is a little piece from the site:

"Typically when the kids graduate from the 6^th grade they are forced to work in the dump to help provide for them and their family. Many of the children are desperate to break the cycle of poverty that is keeping them in the dump and this program gives them that chance. Along with the educational need for breaking the poverty cycle we also address the spiritual need by doing weekly bible studies and building relationships. Having someone behind them cheering them on is very important and we do this by visiting them in their homes, attending sports games, meeting with them individually, weekly visits to their school, tutorials, celebrating their birthdays and doing service projects together. Our mission is to give the youth of La Chureca educational opportunities and spiritual foundations, through which we hope to give these youth the chance to improve their quality of life."

I noticed when I went to Colegio La Esperanza last year, that this school is like a tiny haven within the dump. It's vibrant and fun, a place where the kids can be kids. They WANT to go to school (so different from the States). The teachers had such peace, which no doubt influenced the kids.

We didn't get to see many kids on this last trip because they were on vacation, but we got to interact with the teachers a lot. We spent the day painting and cleaning. I heard that a few kids came to help wipe down chairs, and were extremely excited about doing it. It's so amazing to me how much they want to serve. It's interesting to contrast these kids, with so many from the States who HATE the idea of cleaning or serving... hmmm...

 

Now I thought I was just going to paint walls... like one color... but surprise! Turns out they wanted me to paint a mural!! Unfortunately, this is where my ugly side came out :[ One of the things I've struggled my whole life is trying to do everything perfectly, even though I know I'm not perfect. I had never done a mural before and am not familiar with the style, so I had no preparation, so I got in a really, really bad mood. I'm pretty sure I wasn't super rude to anyone, but for those who know me, know that's NOT my good side! I was totally embarrassed that I got that way :[ But it was such a good lesson for me, and who knew that it would prepare me for future work (now I get to paint murals at my church)! And a few others came to help me, which was a HUGE blessing!

The teachers wanted something like those cute classroom borders, with colorful butterflies and flowers. They would ask us to add something as they sat and watched us. They would laugh and laugh and laugh every time we added something like a snail. It was so much fun to watch them and to see them smile.

 

It's moments like this that I really, really wish I knew Spanish well. I would have loved to just sit and talk with these teachers. It would have been amazing to learn about their stories, and who they are. I don't even know their names :[

Just when I thought this day couldn't have gotten any better, we ended the night with "you group" at Villa Esperanza.

We started the night off with some silly games, and it was really good to see Ana and Miurel "share" me :P. With my first trip, Miurel would get mad at me if I spent time with Ana, and Ana got mad at me if I spent time with Miurel. Either way, somebody was mad at me. But I started to notice that they were not doing that on this trip. In fact, it was almost kind of weird. They know I don't speak Spanish, so they would point to each other with huge grins and say "Tres, tres, tres!". Looks like Mama Sandra has been teaching them well!

 Of course, Kenia is making a funny face!

Then came the moment I will never, ever, ever, ever forget. Ana shared a small part of her testimony!!!!

 

She mentioned how she used to be mean, and say terrible things, and how different she is now. She was definitely nervous and giggly, but you could tell she was excited. And you could tell she was genuine in speaking about the joy she now has since moving into Villa Esperanza, but most of all, her relationship with Christ.

Ana is probably the sweetest and most caring thirteen year old I've ever met. She gets frustrated easily, and it takes her a while to realize when she's crossed the line, but when she's ready, she let's you know how important you are to her. She is EXTREMELY affectionate (she's the one holding Maria Celeste in the picture below), and takes advantage of ANY opportunity to hug someone.

She kind of reminds me of myself in a way. We both used to be mean and say awful things to people before we came to know Christ. And we both LOVE to hug and show affection. I think she also has a hard time accepting that someone else could truly love her, something I struggled with as well. I spent the whole trip trying to reassure her that I love her more than she could imagine, but she would argue. She would say "pequeño" and I would say "grande", and we would get in an argument with just those two words. Love this girl!

After Tim's message, we taped paper to the girls' backs, and had them go around writing messages on each others backs. They had so much fun, and by the end of the night, their papers were loaded with nice messages, about who they are and how much they mean to that particular person. Susie said that as she walked by their homes that night, they were all sitting down together reading their sheets. Just like Ana, this is what these girls need- affirmation that they are amazing and beautiful, and they are loved.

And then there was Wednesay...